Welcome to my blog. Suffering the worst heartache of my life I started seeing a therapist. Her suggestion was to journal my feelings. This was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to forget my feelings and not relive them. However, after spending some time thinking about the idea I decided to journal, and why not share my feelings, thoughts and emotions with others in an effort to help in knowing they are not alone. After all, when knee deep in a heartache, "alone" is how we all feel.
2 months into the breakup I was not feeling any better about my situation. This person was supposed to be my forever person. He was my best friend. We loved to laugh together and we shared so many common interests. So, at a year and a half in when it ended suddenly I was left unprepared and distraught.
But let’s look back to the beginning of this relationship and the red flags I chose to ignore. He took pride in telling me he and his ex-wife were swingers and she allowed him to have an open marriage. He loved to talk about how he was always the victim in past relationships. He was extremely jealous of everyone in my life. He would stalk me on social media and use whatever he found against me. But the biggest red flag was 9 months into our relationship when he let himself into my home to argue and ended up punching me so hard he left me unconscious, with a concussion and 2 black eyes. Yet still I chose to stay with him. I loved him. I was told I provoked him and I deserved to be hit. I needed to protect him. Love is a promise to never say goodbye and I was in this relationship at all costs. What I didn’t realize was it was costing me my relationship with my children, my family, my friends and my self-worth.
I invite you to follow me on my journey of recovery. Time heals all wounds. Perhaps we can even heal together.
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